


Heart and Souls

by Angelise (angelise7)



Category: Heart and Souls (1993), The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Movie Reference, My Mongoose Zine story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelise7/pseuds/Angelise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lost soul is reunited with his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart and Souls

**Author's Note:**

> A reworked piece I submitted to My Mongoose Ezines – Many Movies of the Sentinel 2001

"Blair! Blair!"

A tall handsome man pushed through the doors of the tavern. Removing his Stetson, the rancher looked around the shadowy surroundings.

"Blair! Where are you?"

The young, part-time waiter, full-time college student stepped out of the storeroom and rushed to the rancher’s side. "Jim? Is that really you?" Pulling the man along with him, he stepped back into the storeroom and upon closing the door, wrapped his arms around the stranger’s tall frame.

"Jim!"

Blair grabbed the lapels of Jim’s duster, tugging him down. Threading his fingers through the man’s short strands of hair, he offered up his mouth for a kiss. "I’ve missed you so much."

 _God, it’s been too long_ , he thought.  _This man is the one who feeds my soul with love._

The rancher smiled, his blue eyes crinkling at the edges. He tapped the end of his lover’s nose. When the younger man responded with his own smile, Jim swooped in for a kiss, opening his mouth and inviting Blair’s tongue inside for a quick tussle. Blair happily joined in, replenishing his heart with the taste of his mountain lover. Soon lost in the depths of his man’s sweet mouth, he groaned and pressed as close as possible to the big man’s body.

Jim responded, his large hands sliding down to cup his lover’s ass, his fingers tracking the seam dividing the firm buttocks. Hungry sounds emanated from his throat as he deepened the kiss and explored the territory between Blair’s legs. Taking advantage of his strength, he lifted Blair off the floor and wrapped the man’s legs around his waist.

Several minutes later the need for oxygen forced the two of them apart. Blair nuzzled his lover’s neck, marking the deeply tanned skin with his teeth.

Jim sighed and tangled his hands in the satin curls that sheltered Blair’s neck. Burying his face in the mahogany softness, he quietly whispered to his lover. "It’s been nine months, Blair. Are you finished with this craziness?"

Blair pulled back and looked up. "Craziness? Is that what you think? That I’m crazy for pursuing my dream?"

Jim played with the silver hoops that adorned Blair’s ear. When he glanced back at his lover, his eyes were dark with emotion. "I’ve been so lonely without you. When you’re not around me I don’t care about anything. Can’t sleep. Lose my focus all the time. Sometimes on the silliest thing, like my nephew’s Frisbee flying through the air."

Allowing Blair to slip back to his feet, he shouldered out of his duster and tossed it aside. Gathering his lover back in his arms, he again pulled him close. "People think I’m crazy for letting you leave."

"Letting me?  **Letting me**?"

Blair smoothed his hands over Jim’s flannel shirt, pausing a second to tease the patch of skin exposed by the open collar. "I have to be sure. You understand that, right? I don’t want to turn my back on this and then spend the rest of my life wondering . . .  _what if_. What if a Sentinel was right here, right under my nose and I left without talking to him?”

His eyes traveled hungrily over his lover’s body. He so missed the privilege of tracing his hands across Jim’s broad shoulders, down his smooth chest to his narrow waist. He missed tasting the summer rain on his skin, the icy cold kiss of snow on his lips. Blair shuddered. Most of all he missed sitting quietly in front of a fireplace, wrapped securely in Jim’s arms.

Smoothing his fingers along his man’s stubble-rough jaw, he sighed. "I have to do this. Please say you understand."

Jim hung his head, avoiding Blair’s gaze. "Don’t you love me anymore? Don’t you want to live with me in Montana?"

Blair gripped Jim’s face between his hands and forced him to look up. The man’s words were tinged with loneliness and the emotion ripped right through his heart. "Yes, I love you. Yes, I want to live with you. And yes, I’ve missed you like hell. But you’ve got to give me some time. Is it too much to ask?"

Jim turned his head and gently kissed the hand that lay against his cheek. He softly whispered words of love to the one who was breaking his heart.

Pulling away, he reached for his discarded Stetson and placed it on his head. With quiet grace, he slipped back into his long cream colored duster and stood there silently staring at his lover, a look of sad resignation on his face.

Blair cringed at the unspoken emotions in the rancher’s crystal clear blue eyes. "I . . ."

Jim shook his head. "The real reason I came was to tell you I made a deal with the bank. I got the loan."

With a joyous laugh, Blair threw himself back into his lover’s arms. "You bought the Taggert ranch?"

Jim closed his eyes in anguish as happy lips plastered kisses all over his face. He touched his cheek, his long fingers tracing over warm moist areas that had been touched by Blair’s mouth. Shaking his head, he looked down at his lover. "Seventy-five hundred acres and it’s all ours. That’s if you’ll have me."

Blair pulled back and frowned slightly. Jim caught the look on his lover’s face and felt a sudden pain lancing through his heart.

"Maybe I’m making a fool of myself but I love you, Blair. And I want you by my side. Now . . . as my partner for life."

Blair tugged on the rancher’s arm. "Oh, Jim . . . it’s just that I . . . please, if you love me, can’t you wait just a little while longer? I’ll be back home in no time."

Jim worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "What if you don’t come back? What if you find this . . . what did you call it? Sentinel? What if you decide being the mate to a poor rancher isn’t exciting enough? What if you decide you’d rather spend the rest of your life researching this curiosity?" He leaned forward and gripped his lover’s hands, bringing them to his chest. "No, Blair. I’ve waited. I’ve waited years to be this happy, to be this loved. How can you ask me to wait any longer?"

Blair remained silent.

Jim released his hold and stepped back, his blue eyes wet. "I guess I have my answer." With a last long look, he turned and walked away.

Blair stood alone in the storeroom for several minutes, tears streaming down his cheeks, his heart shattering. A quiet knock on the door announced a coworker’s presence.

"Blair? You okay?"

He dashed his hands over his face and slumped back against a wall of storage boxes. "He’s gone, Megan. He’s left me."

The dark-haired woman collected a case of cups. She looked back at her dejected coworker. "Don’t worry, love. That man traveled all the way from Montana just to see you. He’s hooked. You can reel him in any time you want."

Blair stared at the floor, his gaze reflected inward.  _Jim was his life, his heart. Was the chance of finding a Sentinel really worth losing the man who loved him so much? Was it worth the loneliness and pain he had seen reflected in Jim’s eyes?_

A glimmer of gold caught his attention and Blair stared down at the commitment ring Jim had given him six months ago.

 _This ring ties your heart to mine_ , Jim had said when he slipped it on his finger.  _It’s a strong binding, one that won’t come undone . . . not unless you want it to, Blair._

Blair smiled at the simple braiding of gold, his mind finally in tune with his heart. He looked up at his coworker. "Megan, you’re so full of shit. I love him. And I’m going to lose him unless I do something right now."

He ripped off the towel apron that circled his waist before grabbing Megan and surprising her with a hug. Bestowing a quick kiss to her cheek, he ran out of the storeroom. Waving to Rafe, the bartender, he laughed out loud. "Tell Henri I’ve gone back home. See you guys!"

He rushed up the steps and out into the rainy night. The local bus was just pulling away from its stop near the tavern. Putting on a burst of speed, he slapped his hand on the door of the vehicle.

"Wait! Wait! Stop!"

The bus heeded his call, the door opening to allow him entrance.

 

+++++++ 

 

Blair clung to his seat in horror as the bus swerved violently around the car, the fear of the unavoidable accident freezing his heart. Within seconds there was the squealing of tires, the blaring of horns and the sudden feeling of falling. He hurtled forward, his last words crying out to his beloved. 

"Jim! I love you!"

 

+++++++ 

 

_Where am I? What’s happened? Is this heaven?_

 

+++++++ 

 

Blair waved at the small toddler and laughed as the one year old attempted to grab his fingers. With a sigh, he watched as Thomas’ hand floated right through his. He looked up at his ghostly companions.

"Does anyone understand this? Why are we here? Why are we tied to this child?"

He stood up and walked several feet away only to be stopped by an invisible barrier. Rubbing his nose, he looked back at the three people who had been his constant companions since his death.

"I have so many questions. If we’re dead, why aren’t we in heaven?" He grinned at the wild one of the bunch, Milo, and chuckled. "Or elsewhere."

The thief with a heart wrestled him to the floor and expertly noogied him. "Hey! I ain’t that bad!"

Blair slapped Milo on the head before pushing the man off. He gazed at the oldest of the group, a reserved gentleman dressed in a tweed suit and hat. "Aren’t you curious, Harrison? Don’t you want to know what’s going on here?"

Penny, the pretty black woman, looked up, her brown eyes filled with understanding. "We all have the same questions, Blair. Unfortunately the powers that be have withheld the answers."

She leaned down and brushed a kiss against Thomas’ forehead. "All we know is that we perished in that bus accident and our spirits were given over to a newborn that entered the world at the same time our mortal bodies died. Somehow our existence is centered on this young one. Maybe we’re here to guide him through his life."

Blair watched as the morning sunshine spilled through the open window. The unrelenting pain in his heart nearly dropped him to his knees some days.

"It’s just . . ."

Penny laughed as Thomas blew a bubble. "I know it’s hard on you, Blair, but you’re not the only one who has lost a loved one." She sighed deeply. "I miss my children so much. And it’s tearing my heart apart not knowing what has happened to them."

Penny waved Blair over and motioned him to sit beside her. "Maybe one day we’ll have the answers, but until then, let’s do our best to guide this little one as best as we know how."

Blair smiled up at the woman. "Your children were very lucky to have you, Penny. I’m sure wherever they are, they’re safe and happy."

Penny stroked a hand over his long curls. "You still think about Jim, don’t you?"

Blair closed his eyes and choked back the sob that threatened to escape. "Every day. Every minute of every day." He rubbed his hand over his heart before looking up at Milo and Harrison.

"God, it hurts. It hurts so bad." He turned around, hiding his tears on the shoulder of his surrogate mother. "I wish . . . If only I had . . ."

Penny wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I know, sweet thing. I know." 

 

+++++++ 

 

"Please don’t go, Blair. Please stay."

Blair smiled through his tears, his arms reaching out to hug the six year old good-bye.

"It’s time for us to go, Thomas. Time for you to be with your real friends."

_Time for you to give up your invisible friends. Time for your parents to stop worrying about your mental state._

Blair played with the bedspread. "We don’t want to leave but we have to."

_If we don’t go your father will have you committed to a mental institution._

He looked back at the small boy. "Don’t cry, Thomas. We’ll still be here watching over you. We’ll just be doing it quietly."

"No, no, Blair. Please don’t go. I  **need**  you."

Blair turned away, his heart hearing those same words whispered by a much deeper, huskier voice so many years ago.

_I need you, Blair. Please don’t leave. Stay. Make a home with me._

The ghost closed his eyes, his mind’s eye seeing the arms that had reached for him that night before he left Montana. The arms that had surrounded him with love.

That night he had given his innocence to the man who had already claimed his heart. The quiet rancher had touched his body with such tenderness. Their union slow and gentle, the spilling of their seed welcomed with cries of love. It was a night he would never forget. Just as he would never forget his Jim. The man he’d loved and lost.

Penny touched him on the shoulder, pulling him away from his memories.

"It’s time."

Blair smiled at Thomas. "I’m so proud of you, little one. Remember, no worries."

With a tearful smile, he felt himself fade from view. 

 

+++++++ 

 

Unseen, Penny danced around Thomas, watching him kiss Anne, his fiancée.

"I like this girl. I think she’s the one."

Blair smiled at his charge. Even though he and his companions were no longer visible to Thomas, there was still a strong connection of love and concern for the young man. After several short-term relationships, the successful lawyer had finally found the perfect woman. It was cause for celebration.

Except for one small problem . . . Thomas was dragging his feet in the commitment department. Blair watched as the man wiggled out of an opportunity to meet Anne’s parents. He shook his head in frustration and cautioned the young lawyer.

"Come on, Thomas. She’s not going to wait around forever. Don’t blow it."

He cocked his head for a second, the words echoing a message he knew he should understand but for some reason, did not.

A sound caught his attention, directing him away from the couple’s lunch rendezvous.

"Oh shit!"

An antiquated bus slid right through the conservatory’s wall, its appearance stunning him and his ghostly comrades. His eyes went wide when the vehicle’s doors opened and out stepped its driver, who attempted to speak with a scary voice.

"It . . . is . . . _tiiiime_ , _wwwoooooh_."

Milo stepped forward. "It’s time, _wooh_?"

The bus operator looked at his schedule. "Alright, alright, alright. I know I’m a little late. Should have picked you up 15 to 20 years ago. But you know, up there, time’s a little irrelevant."

The four of them just stared at the uniformed man.

"Let’s go, people. I’m taking you onwards."

Blair was the first to step forward. "Who _are_ you and what’s your name?"

The bus driver smiled and sat down on the bottom step of the vehicle’s entryway. "My name is Gabe. You could say I’m the angel in charge of new acquisitions."

Milo joined in with his questions. "Aren’t you the idiot that got us all killed? The one who was driving the bus the night we died?"

The angel vehemently shook his head. "No, no. That was Larry. You won’t see him. He’s doing his penance . . . uh . . . elsewhere."

Gabe glanced at his watch then clapped his hands. "Let’s go."

Penny stepped forward. "Go? Go where? And why now?"

Gabe stood up, indicating the bus with a wave of his hand. "It’s time. You’ve had 30 plus years. Time enough to resolve your lives."

Harrison, the shy tenor, removed his hat and scratched his head. "What? What do you mean . . . resolve our lives?"

Gabe looked at the confused foursome. "You know . . . take care of the one thing that would have made your lives complete."

Penny crowded the angelic bus operator. "We haven’t  **done**  anything. We haven’t **resolved** anything!"

Gabe examined the face of each ghost.

"You’re joking. You  ** _were_**  told about this, right? Naomi, our heavenly advisor . . . she came down and explained everything to you?"

Four confused ghosts advanced on Gabe, their anger pushing the bus driver back several feet.

"Alright, alright. Back off.  **BACK OFF**!"

The angel looked at the schedule in his hands. "I can’t believe it. You four . . . You’ve been hanging around in Limboville for the last 30 years wandering what happened?" He sighed and shook his head in disbelief. "Naomi is in so much trouble."

Milo waved his arms in the air. " **You** can’t believe it? What about us? We’ve been tied to that kid forever. No hamburgers. No women. No football. No women. And  **NO SEX**!"

Blair smiled momentarily at the ladies’ man of the group.

"And just how were we to resolve things?" Penny poked the bus driver in the chest. "We’re spirits. It’s not like we can make a phone call or write a letter."

Gabe pointed to Thomas. "Your corporeal being. You’re supposed to use him as a vehicle. He can help you fix things. And if he won’t cooperate, you enter his body and  ** _make_** him do it."

Harrison frowned. "Enter his body? Make him do it?"

Penny slapped her hands on her hips. "Now  **that**  would have been helpful to know several YEARS AGO!"

Blair felt a tightness in his chest. "I knew there was a reason for all of this."

Gabe smiled. "It’s all part of the grand scheme."

Blair watched as Thomas embraced and kissed his fiancée. The intimate scene snagged an elusive memory and WHAM! The floodgates opened and every memory of his beloved rushed forth.

_Jim. JIM!! I can find out about Jim!_

Gabe tucked his schedule underneath his arm and headed back towards the bus. Penny clutched his arm, her memories also restored.

"My kids! I can find out about my kids."

The angel shook his head. "No, no. It’s too late. It’s time to take you back."

Blair stepped in front of Gabe, his plea stopping the angel from boarding the bus.

"No! You can’t take us back. Not now. Not before I have the chance to find out about my Jim. Please.  _Please_. Don’t take us now."

Gabe laid his hand over Blair’s heart and a light enveloped the two beings. He whispered to the young man, his voice heard only by Blair. "Your love for this man . . . it consumes your soul."

Blair nodded his head, unable to speak. Gabe reached up and touched his face. "You have touched my heart, young one. I understand your loss and I stand in awe of your love."

The light faded and the angel smiled at the four ghosts before pointing at Blair. "Because of him, I will grant you the time necessary to resolve your lives. But be warned, it’s not going to be long."

Gabe boarded the bus and took his seat. "Do not waste this opportunity."

Blair followed the bus as it pulled away.

_Jim. I’m going to get to see my Jim._

He was distracted from his thoughts by Milo’s whine.

"But Thomas can’t  **see**  us! What are we going to do now?" 

 

+++++++ 

 

The four ghosts squeezed into Thomas’ Lexus, Blair jumping in the front seat.

" **THOMAS**!" Milo placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. No response. The thief resumed his yelling. " **THOMAS**!  **YO**!  **THOMAS**!"

Harrison sat between Milo and Penny, shaking his head. "Screaming is not going to make him see us again, Milo. Disappearing is easier than reappearing."

Penny tapped a finger to her lips. "Maybe we’re not concentrating together like we used to."

Blair frowned as he watched Thomas maneuver through the afternoon traffic. "Remember that song Thomas loved to sing with us? Let’s try it. Let’s sing  _Walk Like a Man_."

Harrison nodded. "Good idea, Blair."

Penny smiled in agreement. "Now . . . everyone concentrate."

The four ghosts crowded around their young charge and began singing.

_Walk like a man._

_Talk like a man._

_Walk like a man, my son._

_No woman’s worth_

_Crawling on the earth._

_So walk like a man, my son._

Blair pulled back in frustration. "This is not working."

Before the words were completely out of his mouth, Thomas hummed the song’s refrain. Blair felt his heart race with excitement.

"Thomas!"

The lawyer looked around the empty confines of his car as Blair continued to speak to him. Staring at the space occupied by the ghost, Thomas’ eyes widened with surprise as Blair faded back into view, a beautiful smile of welcome on the ghost’s face.

"Contact!"

 

+++++++

  

"And I am  **not**  going to run all over the place trying to fix things you should have fixed years ago." Trying his best to ignore the four ghosts at his side, Thomas stormed up the steps of the building that housed the law firm he worked for.

Blair felt sympathy for the confused young man. His voice softened. "We didn’t know this but we were suppose to have you finish things for us . . . things we needed to do."

_Like telling Jim I’m sorry and that I will love him forever._

The lawyer rambled on about being left alone as a child, being in therapy for years, trying to figure out the reason for his  _hallucinations_. Thomas stopped at the door to the conference room and spun around, startling the four ghosts.

"Do me a favor. Fade out again."

Thomas entered the room and quietly took a seat, the meeting already in progress. Blair leaned across the table, positioning himself in front of the lawyer.

"We are going to be with you  **forever**  unless you help us."

Thomas ignored him and proceeded to present his report on his latest case. Blair sighed and walked back to where his three friends sat perched on a large bookcase.

"I can’t believe he won’t help us."

Penny followed Thomas as he walked around the room. "You know the bus driver said we could just take over his body."

"Without his permission," Harrison added. "It’s seems fairly aggressive. Can we do that?"

Making himself comfortable, Milo stretched out on the conference table and nodded his willingness.

Blair looked at the thief and smiled mischievously. "Let’s find out."

Thomas walked in front of him.

"Okay. Here goes."

Taking a deep breath, Blair reached for Thomas, his hands sinking inside the lawyer’s body. He gasped as a visible tremor shook the man. Gathering his courage, he stepped fully into Thomas and instantly found himself with the full use of a human body again.

"It feels sooo good."

Blair danced around the room, touching Thomas’ boss and coworkers. The sheer joy of feeling alive again so enthused him, he found himself hugging several of the older men, never realizing the impropriety of the situation.

Pulling out of Thomas’ body, he grinned back at his cohorts. "It works! And it feels  _really_  weird."

Livid, Thomas turned on him. "This is my livelihood you’re fooling with. You **can’t** do this."

Milo stepped up to the bat, a purely wicked look on his face. Thomas sat down and the lusty thief took up residence in his body.

Milo, who had been without sex for over 25 years, slid across the table and started flirting with the one female exec at the meeting.

"Look. This is all very illuminating. All this business mumbo jumbo, but who really gives a damn when there’s a beautiful dish like you in the room?"

Several minutes later, Thomas flew out of the conference room, struggling to get Milo out of his body. He slammed up against a wall before falling flat on his back, his four ghostly companions surrounding him.

"That was the vice president of finance you were coming on to in there!"

Milo combed back his hair and smiled nonchalantly. "Well, I guess you better help us."

Blair stepped up and tried to soothe the lawyer’s ruffled feelings. "Please, Thomas. Please help us. We can’t do it without you."

Thomas stared at his favorite ghostly friend and recognized the pain of love lost in his blue eyes.

"Okay, okay. We’re going to work something out. That’s  **if**  I still have a job left after what just happened in there."

Four happy faces smiled back at Thomas.

  

+++++++

  

Blair sat in the passenger seat of Thomas’ rental car, watching the rugged Montana scenery pass by. His fingers drummed on the armrest, his eagerness to see Jim threatening to overwhelm him.

"Are we there yet, Thomas? Is it very much further?"

Thomas smiled at him. "We’re almost there." Changing lanes, the young man increased his speed.

"I can’t believe what’s happened in the last 24 hours. Milo returning the stamps he stole to their rightful owner. Harrison singing the national anthem at a BB King concert. And Penny . . ." Thomas’ voice gentled. "I’m so glad we found her kids. Especially her son, Timmy. It would have broken her heart to leave without knowing about her children."

Thomas slowly brought the car to a stop before a sign indicating Ellison’s Acres. Turning onto the gravel driveway, he drove about a mile before pulling the car off to the side and cutting the engine. Twisting around to face the ghost sitting beside him, he noticed the anxious look on Blair’s face.

"Have you decided what you’re going to say to Jim?"

Blair turned his face to the open window, wishing he could feel the cool fall breeze on his skin. "There’s so much I need to say. I’m afraid, Thomas. Afraid I’ll screw this up."

Blair nodded at Thomas as the young lawyer opened his door, allowing the ghost to slide out of the car. His wistful gaze traced over the range of mountains in the far distance

"Did I mention that this is where me and Jim first kissed?" His attention turned to a stand of trees and bushes not far from the road and scratched his head. “I swear there used to be several buildings and a horse corral here.”

He glanced back at Thomas. "The original owner of this large spread, Joel Taggart, was having a barn raising that summer Jim and I were dating. Naturally, he invited me to be a part of his crew." He smiled and shook his head. "I remember it was hot. Damn hot. Most the men had their shirts off, Jim included. Man, he looked good."

Digging in his back pocket, Blair pulled out his wallet. Opening it up, he held it out to Thomas. The lawyer looked at the photo.

"Handsome man."

Blair stroked his finger over the image of his lover. "Jim was indeed good-looking. Hell, half the county was after him. Why he picked me is something I still can’t fathom."

Thomas raised an eyebrow at that last statement. He couldn’t believe the young ghost had no clue of his attractiveness.

Blair flipped his wallet closed and shoved it back in his pocket. "Me and Jim were eating our lunch up in the loft of that barn. One minute we were talking, the next minute we were kissing, kissing like love starved fools."

Thomas watched as his ghostly companion knelt down to examine a discarded bird nest. The melancholy note in Blair’s voice pulled at his heart.

Blair glanced at the ring on his left hand. "It felt so right to be in Jim’s arms. Sounds sappy but I felt like I had come home." He stood and looked down the gravel driveway. "I remember Jim kinda got lost in the feel of my hair; it was real long at that time. I touched his face to catch his attention, and when he turned his focus back to me, we started kissing and making out all over again."

Thomas moved to stand beside his longtime companion, wishing he could hug Blair. Instead, he stood silent, offering his unspoken support.

"I guess you could say that day was the start of our relationship."

Blair went still, which prompted Thomas to ask the one question that had been bothering him for several hours.

"Why did you leave?"

A deep sigh eased out into the quiet fall afternoon.

“At the time I met Jim I was working on my doctoral thesis, a study on Sentinels . . . persons with heightened senses,” he added once he got a look at the confusion etched on Thomas’ face. “A mentor of mine, Eli Stoddard, insisted a move to the city would increase my chances of locating subjects with heightened senses.”

Blair shook his head. “Man, I was so close to getting my PhD I could taste it. Nine months, a year at the most and it would have been mine.” He looked back at Thomas, a glimmer of moisture in his blue eyes. "I loved Jim, I really did. But I just had to go, had to get that damn degree."

His long hair fell forward as he hid his face from Thomas. "I always planned to come back here. No way was I going to spend the rest of my life without Jim. But . . ." He sniffed and brushed his hands across his eyes before glancing up at Thomas, smiling through his tears. "I guess you know the rest of the story."

He turned his gaze back toward the road that would lead him to his lover. "God, all of a sudden I feel tongue tied. Thomas? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I screw up my one last chance?"

Thomas reached into the back seat of the rental car and pulled out his briefcase. He opened it and offered Blair a notepad and pen. "Write a letter. Put your feelings down on paper. I can tell Jim that your belongings were mixed up with my mother’s at the hospital and I’ve just now discovered the letter."

Thomas held out his pen to the ghost. "Sounds plausible, don’t you think?"

Blair nodded and with a smile on his face stepped inside Thomas’ body.

"Whoa momma!"

Blair looked at his, at Thomas’ hands, taking a moment to re-familiarize himself with the solidity of a live body. "Man, this is so weird."

He stood quietly for a moment letting his senses drift along with the sounds and smells of the fall afternoon. The crisp scent of freshly cut hay teased his nose and for a moment he was lost in a memory.

_His eyes. Eyes that were the color of a beautiful spring sky. And at that moment, his whole world was captured by those eyes._

_"Jim. I . . . I . . ."_

_The silent rancher reached out and tangled a hand in his curls. He pulled him into his arms and buried his face in the tousled mane of hair._

_"I know. I feel the same."_

_Blair lifted his hand and touched the rancher’s face. With a tender smile the man leaned down and Blair lost his breath to Jim’s kiss. A gentle melding of lips that ignited the flame in his heart for this quiet giant._

_Jim pressed Blair’s mouth to his naked chest._

_"I am yours, Blair Sandburg. Always."_

The squawking of a bird startled him from his reverie. With a pensive sigh, he focused his attention on the letter that would make everything right between him and his Jim.

 

**Dear Jim,**

**When you turned away and left me standing alone in that storeroom I realized my future, my heart, was leaving with you. I’m not sure why I hesitated, why I didn’t call you back. Maybe because I was scared, scared of something I’ve never been able to hold onto.**

**I know I said I wanted to pursue my dream of finding a Sentinel but right now I’m not sure that was the real truth. Yes, I love anthropology, but it’s nothing compared to the life I shared with you back in Montana. I think maybe that’s why I left.**

**You wanted everything. My heart, my future---and that scared me. Scared the shit out of me. I’ve never committed myself to one person---never found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But that day you held me in your arms and kissed me---I knew I was in deep trouble. There would be no one else but you.**

**I thought I could handle it but I was wrong. The more I was with you, the more I needed to run, to think.**

**Jim---I need you to know I wasn’t going to stay away forever. I just needed a little space, some time to think about my future with you.**

**The moment I saw you standing in the tavern---standing there holding your hat in your hands, I knew it was time to come home. But for some reason the fear crept back in and I messed up everything. I’m such a total screw up sometimes.**

**I love you Jim---love you with everything in me. And as soon as I finish this note, I’m coming to you. I’m going to throw myself into your arms and love you ‘til the cows come home. Ha!**

**God I love you, Jim. I really love you.**

**Blair**

 

He slipped out of Thomas and stood silently by as his letter was folded and placed in the man’s shirt pocket.

"Do you think it’s okay?"

Thomas smiled and nodded his head. He watched his worried friend climb into the car. "It looks good."

Blair chewed on his bottom lip. "Do you think he’ll believe it?"

Thomas slid behind the wheel and turned to the anxious ghost. He reached out to offer Blair a comforting hug and frowned as his arm floated right through the spirit being. "He’ll believe it, Blair. It’s your own handwriting. He’ll believe it."

Thomas turned on the ignition but was distracted from his passenger by the appearance of the bus from heaven.

"Damn!"

The rental car spit gravel as it raced down the driveway in an attempt to outrun the larger vehicle. Thomas threw on the brakes and flew out of the car. He frantically motioned Blair toward the house. They both froze at the sight of the bus parked in front of them.

The angel, Gabe, got up from his seat on the back bumper. "I do you a favor and you  **run**  from me?"

Thomas placed himself in front of Blair. "Five minutes. Just give us five minutes."

Gabe sadly shook his head. "No. It’s time. It’s time now."

Thomas shifted back and forth, preventing the bus driver from grabbing Blair. "You’ll take him over my dead body. You can’t do this. We’re talking about right and wrong here."

The bus driver removed his hat and wiped his brow. "I’m sorry. It’s time."

Thomas stood his ground. "You have eternity. We’re talking about  **five**  lousy minutes. I can’t believe you won’t give him five minutes." The lawyer waved his hands in the air. "Be creative. Stall."

The bus driver looked up at Heaven. "Stall? Stall  **Him**?"

Thomas ran after Blair, the ghost’s letter gripped tightly in his hand. Blair stood looking at the door to the house.

"What?"

Blair shook his head and took a step back. "He’s probably married with children. I . . . I don’t want to cause problems."

"Come on. You still want him to know you cared about him . . . that you loved him."

Blair looked over at Thomas, a shimmer of tears in his eyes. "What if he’s forgotten all about me?"

Thomas smiled while knocking on the screen door. "Blair. No one could forget about you."

A tear slipped down the young spirit’s cheek. "What if he’s never forgiven me?"

Thomas stood silent, unable to find the words to console his heavenly friend.

A tall, dark-skinned man appeared at the door and opened it. "Can I help you?"

Thomas stepped forward and rattled off his name, title and the law firm he worked for. Once finished, he held out the letter Blair had written. "I have a personal letter for Jim Ellison."

The door slammed shut as the stranger stepped out onto the porch. "Jim? Jim Ellison?"

Thomas looked over at Blair for confirmation. “Yes, Jim Ellison. Does he still live here?"

The man frowned. "Ellison hasn’t lived here for years."

"Do you know what happened to him or where we could possibly find him? I’ve been retained by the Sandburg estate to personally deliver this letter to Mr. Ellison."

“Son, you’re going to have a hard time delivering that letter.” The owner of the ranch rubbed a hand over his bald head. "Ellison joined the Army Rangers shortly after he sold me this place. Served for a couple years before losing his whole team in an ambush in Peru. They later found him living in the jungle with some native tribe.” Pulling a cigar out of his shirt pocket, the man paused in his narrative to light it. Taking a strong pull on the cigar, he continued, “Friends say he kinda went mental once they got him home and was taken off to some government institution in Washington, I think.”

The rancher pointed to the stand of trees they had earlier stopped next to. “He’s buried right out there.”

Blair crumbled to his knees, a keening cry ripped from his body. He pounded his fist against his chest, desperate to stop the pain crushing his heart.

_Jim. Oh God, Jim. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant to cause you such heartache._

Thomas turned away from the stranger and stomped over to the bus driver.

"Hey! What is this  **CRAP**? It  _didn’t_  work."

Thomas threw Blair’s letter on the ground. "Jim’s  **dead**. He’s obviously been dead for several years."

The lawyer’s ranting was stopped cold by the whisper of his name.

"Thomas."

Blair stood at the edge of the porch, a soft light surrounding him. "It’s you."

Thomas walked back toward the ghost. "What’s  _me_?"

"It’s you. You and Anne. That’s what I’m supposed to do."

"Me and Anne?"

Blair moved closer. "I’m here to make sure you don’t make the same mistake I did and lose the one you love."

The ghost glanced heavenwards.  _Help me, Jim. Help me say the right words this time. Thomas deserves to be loved._

Blair closed his eyes _. Just like you deserved to be loved, Jim._

He traced his hand over Thomas’ heart. "Don’t let one more minute pass without letting her know how you feel. Promise me you’re going to go to her. Promise me you’re going to live the life I didn’t get to live."

Blair smiled at the lawyer. "Anne loves you. And you love her. Don’t let the fear of commitment scare you away from a future of happiness and love. Promise me, please."

Thomas watched the tears flow down his friend’s face. "I will, Blair. I promise."

The lawyer slammed his fist against the tree he was standing beside. "This is  **so**  fucking unfair! You didn’t get to make it right with Jim." He twirled on the bus driver. " **This sucks!** "

Blair stepped in front of Thomas. "It’s okay. If my mistake teaches you the error of your ways, then it’s all worth it."

A whisper of wind brushed across Thomas’ face as Blair leaned close. "Be happy. Be loved, my friend."

Blair brushed back his hair and stepped away. With one last smile at Thomas, he slowly climbed on the bus, taking a seat near the window. He waved at Thomas and with a deep, heart heavy sigh nodded to Gabe.

"I’m ready."

Hidden from view, the angelic bus driver smoothed out the wrinkles in Blair’s note. Gabe read the soul-wrenching message and after glancing toward Heaven, cranked the engine up. With a protesting groan, the bus rumbled forward into a swirling vortex of mist.

Gabe looked back at his silent passenger. "Blair?"

The ghost turned his tear stained face toward him. "Yes?"

"Did you love him? Love Jim?"

Blair closed his eyes, an overwhelming sense of loss weighing down his young spirit. "With every breath in my body. I just wish I . . .”

Gabe finished the sentence for the young ghost. "Wish you had had the opportunity to tell him?"

A sob was choked back. "Yes. God, yes."

The bus stopped and the exit door opened. Gabe turned in his seat and watched as Blair wearily stepped into the aisle and moved toward the exit. He tapped the ghost on the shoulder. "Remember the words you spoke to Thomas, Blair."

The spirit stepped off the bus but kept his gaze trained on the angelic bus driver. "What?"

Gabe smiled at Blair. "Don’t lose the one you love. Tell Jim you love him."

Blair stared at the angel, confusion written all over his face. "Tell him? Jim’s dead, man."

Gabe pointed into the darkness outside the bus. "Is he?"

Blair turned around and stared up into the face of his beloved. His Jim.

Unaware of the heavenly bus’ arrival, the rancher bent down and brushed a discarded piece of newspaper away from his boots. His gray Stetson was dappled with the night’s light misting of rain. Squaring his shoulders, he straightened, sighed deeply, and stepped forward… straight into the arms of his lover.

"Blair!"

"Jim!"

Blair frantically mapped the rancher’s face, tracing his features in desperation. "Jim? Is it you? Oh dear God!" He threw his arms around Jim and buried his face inside the familiar warmth of the man’s neck. "You’re alive! Not dead.  **Alive**. Not gone. Here with me . . . alive."

Jim lifted Blair in his arms and smiled at his babbling lover. "Of course, I’m alive, babe." He brushed a handful of tangled curls away from Blair’s face, examining the astonished look in those brilliant blue eyes.

"Blair? Are you okay?" Jim stumbled backwards, an onslaught of kisses snatching away his breath.

Blair tightened his arms convulsively around the man, his mouth consuming Jim’s whispered words. Ignoring the need for air, he nuzzled Jim’s stubbled jaw, his lips tracing down his lover’s neck, locating the hollow at the base of his throat. A litany was breathlessly offered to the small indentation.

"Jim. Jim. Jim."

The rancher leaned back against the brick wall of the building situated behind him. Although confused over his lover’s distraught behavior, he continued to stroke Blair’s curls and murmur comforting phrases to the smaller man.

"It’s okay, Blair. I’m here. And I’m not leaving you."

Blair released his grip and after unbuttoning several buttons, slid his hands inside Jim’s heavy flannel shirt. He nipped at the older man’s lower lip while mapping the smooth muscular contours of his chest. "I want you, Jim. Now. Make love to me now."

A strangled cry broke free of the rancher’s throat as Blair slid down his body, the friction of the man’s weight against his groin nearly driving him mindless with need. He gestured down the deserted street. "Hotel. My hotel is . . .” Nearly pulled off his feet, Jim was hurriedly dragged in the direction he had indicated. Within minutes, he found himself sprawled across a bed, totally naked and covered by an equally naked Blair, his lover’s mouth devouring his breathless moans.

The rancher was helpless against the youthful enthusiasm of his lover, Blair’s hands moving so fast, touching, caressing, yanking on his short hair. And with each touch, his frantic lover whispered words he did not understand.

_Alive. Second chance. Gonna love him right this time._

Hours later, and still floating on a cloud of incredible pleasure and love, Blair, with a sigh of utter contentment, sprawled beside his partner’s boneless body.

_Jim. My beloved Jim._

The rancher sighed happily and tangled one hand in the curls making their home on his pillow. "Incredible, babe. That was . . ." Pulling him forward, he shared a long, wet kiss with Blair. Licking his tongue across the satisfied smile plastered across his lover’s face, he whispered, "I can’t believe you’re here with me. That you changed your mind and came after me."

Blair nuzzled the damp skin behind Jim’s left ear. "I had to follow my heart and it was following after you."

He shifted slightly to the side and trailed his fingers over his lover’s tanned flesh, pausing to outline the area that sheltered his heart. "I never thought I would see you again."

Jim claimed Blair’s left hand and lifted it to his mouth. With an awed smile, he kissed the ring that declared the promise of their future. "I love you, Blair. Thank heaven you returned to me."

With a secret smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, Blair snuggled closer and laid his head on the rancher’s chest. Staring out the window at the star studded night, he imagined he could see his friends smiling down at them, his three heavenly friends who would always look after his heart and soul.

 

The end

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> If you're interested in the movie . . . [Heart and Souls on Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_and_Souls)
> 
> Also . . . [You can follow me and my eclectic tastes on Tumblr!](http://angelise7.tumblr.com/)


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